Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Batman, glitter shirts, and theme suspenders

Batman was a lovely man, a grown-up Urkel, if you will. Theme suspenders. Check. Theme tie. Check. Black and white wing tips. Check. Very large retro glasses. Check. He was right out of central casting. He mentioned at some point having shopped for glitter shirts when he was going to clubs. He’s the guy in the club with the glitter shirt ladies, and he is rock-in’ it. He knows he looks good too. Glitter shirt. Christ. I was inwardly wincing at the sheet music tie and suspenders. I would have blushed the entire night with embarrassment if he had showed up in a glitter shirt.

He was entirely too nice of a guy for me to mock and far too earnest to go out with again. Still it was nice to feel my power. It was nice to be sure a guy liked me. I definitely had hand. I knew before we went out that I was unlikely to be attracted to him but I still wanted him to be into me. Had he been underwhelmed by all that is me, I might have considered impaling myself on one of the beer taps. I would have taken an unnecessary vow of celibacy and completely given up.

I’ve been thinking about the date today because I can. In this space, I’ve documented my fixations with Mr. Coffee, IBC, and now cute guy with dog (more on him later) and none of these guys were/are ever into me. On paper, Batman is great; music teacher, loves all kinds of music, plays guitar (one of my Achilles’ heel), and he’s into me as is. A little too into me for what little he knows but into me nonetheless. I wrote a friend recently who was giving me unsolicited dating advice telling her first to please stop. More importantly, I told her that I recognized that I have questionable taste in men. I don’t think there is anything wrong with anyone I’ve liked necessarily. It’s just that I can and routinely do pick the least interested/available man in any room to become fixated with. I told her that until there is some shift in me that allows me to like people who like me instead of being drawn to guys who aren't interested or just like having someone into them without returning the favor, I think things are going to be about the same as they ever have been.

6 more guys to be rejected by on match until that expensive and ego-deflating experiment is over.

2 comments:

Good-Grace said...

damn straight you have power! :) Hell, yeah... if nothing else, this batman loving, glitter shirted, themed accessory wearing fellow can be good to "pump you up" (say that last part with an SNL Hanz and Franz, Schwarzenegger accent).

I was just reading my Country Living magazine and there is a photo spread/article about the wedding of this couple who met on Match.com - and she wasn't that into him at first. Anywho....

IP said...

@good-grace: never say never, I suppose but I don't think Batman I will have a Country Living ending. Your comment made me laugh. It was the kind of power that adults have over impressionable kids. It's nice but in a way, doesn't really count. Kind of like being really good at Jeopardy from my couch at home. I may be right but I don't win any money.