Sunday, February 1, 2009


I believe in karma. I have no idea what faith or spiritual construct that comes from. I do know that the bible covers the subject of karma in its own way (as you sow, so shall ye reap), so I don’t feel traitorous toward my faith to say I believe in karma. But I digress.

Petty and passive aggressive person that I am, I did indeed turn off the water to the toilet and even staged the toilet to imply technical difficulties, leaving a plunger (that I have not had to use even once since I moved here) balanced on the lid of the bathroom trash can. I was pretty pleased with myself.

I came home that evening to find Skid Mark undeterred by my elaborate set up. I realize now that I should have flushed the toilet after turning off the water to the tank so SM would not have a full tank to release when he finished desecrating my bathroom. I made a mental note of it should I find a small and petty need for that kind of information again. For now though, I just really needed for SM to stop using my home as his personal rest stop. So I wrote his boss that evening, talking about this and that and at the end of the e-mail, I mentioned that I was having issues with my toilet and would appreciate it not being used when I’m not home. Perhaps she knew the ‘issues’ were mental health ones and entirely mine vice the toilet but whatever. She didn’t acknowledge that part of my message in her reply and I worried she wouldn’t pass the word to SM.

The next morning, getting ready for work, I was trying to figure out if I should leave SM some note about the toilet, purchase a child lock for the toilet, turn the water off again, or just take my chances and leave an un-booby trapped toilet available for his exploitation. I was doing all this thinking where much of the worlds morning thinking is done and wouldn’t you know that when I flushed, I got the slow choppy flush of a stopped up toilet. Now I had a real toilet problem. When I left for work that morning, the plunger balanced on the trash can had actually seen combat. Karma...

ps. SM did not use my bathroom that day but I’m suspending celebration until/if a trend evolves.


Kill Tandon aka Castron Dillon aka Roya Roya said...

Hey, at least he didnt "upper-deck" ya. That's when you take a dump in the top part of the toilet instead of the commode. Or better yet, at least he didn't leave you a "cinnamon roll", that's where you pull the toilet paper out, wipe, and then carefully spool it back onto the roll.... or maybe these are some things you can leave know, "scorched earth" warfare. :)

IP said...

Wow. I don't know if it's because I'm a nerd or because I'm not a boy that I didn't know about all these toilet related ways to exact revenge on people. Again, wow. I'm totally checking the tank.

Good-Grace said...

oh. my. God. This post is soooo disturbing, but too funny. And then I go to leave a comment... and... wooo hoo! Check out the info from your brother!! :) ha ha! I had no idea what an upper deck-er was, or a cinnamon roll. Wow. I am laughing out loud. (and now I just read your post... this is too funny!)

Good-Grace said...

(that last line - I meant I just read your "reply" to your brother...)

you know me... dingy.