Stories: Chapter 1

After years of telling these stories to my friends, I'm going to attempt to convey them here. These stories are the vignettes of my "dating" life that serve to both illustrate my stunning ability to draw strange men and explain my persistently single status. We'll warm up with Metro (I give all my guys names).

I met Metro at the final stop of the train I was taking home from a night out. He worked at the station and started talking to me as I was walking out to my car. I try always to be at least courteous to strange men as I don't want to provoke them by being rude. Then he told me that I looked like I used to work out.

I know. I didn't know what to do with that either. Just to be sure I didn't misunderstand him, he pointed out that all I really needed was to tighten up my stomach. To be fair, he said he needed to do the same thing. I was simply stunned. The thought bubble over my head would have read, "has that ever worked for you? telling a girl she's fat and then helpfully suggesting which areas she should concentrate on?" But it was true and I was stunned/intrigued by a guy who would do that and then ask for my number. Plus, as further stories will illustrate, these are all strange men and it's quicker to give them a number than it is to argue or discuss not giving them my number. He did call a few times but I never saw him again. I'm sure he's somewhere, doing crunches, perhaps with the love of his life holding his feet down and sucking in her gut.