Sunday, August 17, 2008

After the fire



So I had fun with the two folks who showed up and was determined that I would not betray my disappointment over the paltry attendance to those who had made the difficult trek. I tried to take some of the sting out of their long, difficult drive and the lack of attendance by taking them out to dinner at a wonderful, authentic Cuban place. In classic fashion, we're almost there and the road that we must take to get there is closed, so I drove them 25 minutes out of the way to have us ending up at a chain pizza place. IBC did not make it and today is a lingering sadness over that and the sodas, beer, food, and other things that won't be used and that I now have to get rid of. I know I need to make the choice to move on, and I will, but I want to stew in this steamy funk for just a while longer. This is why I don't have people over. I don't think I'll do that again. It's fine when your worst-case scenario plays out and it truly wasn't the end of the world that people just didn't want to come. But I know myself well enough that this is not the sort of thing I want to happen again because it's not good for my mental health and growth. So I have thrown my first and last party. So sorry you missed it.

Bad party aside, the two folks who showed up, I really enjoyed talking with. They are great people and what scares me about the wonderful single people I'm meeting is that they are single. I don't understand how someone has not scooped them up. We're all bastions of imperfection and incompleteness, but they are well over the halfway mark of just plain great. What hope have I when these great people are out there floating unattached?

The movers come this week. I need to pack and figure out what goes into storage and start filling the car with stuff for Goodwill. I have a permanent knot of anxiety in my stomach. It's been great for my appetite so at least there's the silver lining of a 3-5 pound head start on a larger weight-loss goal. Count on a girl to see it that way.

2 comments:

IP said...

So...everyone should have a birthday twin. Mine is great. She is me but not me. She laughed that no one came to the fire sale and helped me realize that it is hilarious that two people came and that I am lame. I'm still never throwing another party but it's much healthier to be amused at the rejection than to be sad about it. The two attendees can be assured of positive karma for their gracious attendance. God's blessings upon you.

Alice said...

Again, apologies for not making it. I have a hundred comments to make-- "They are great people and what scares me about the wonderful single people I'm meeting is that they are single. I don't understand how someone has not scooped them up. We're all bastions of imperfection and incompleteness, but they are well over the halfway mark of just plain great. What hope have I when these great people are out there floating unattached?" Mostly they're single (at least 50% of them) because they choose to be, because pain is a lot easier than happiness, because most of us know exactly how to deal with that pain. He does. He hates it, but I think in a way it's very comforting to him. I'm talking out of school, but you know what I mean. I need your advice about something ridiculous, but that's what e-mail is for!